That's not Bec

In the last few weeks(months) I've really been trying to improve my mental health ( with thanks to professional help too) and I won't lie, in the beginning, I honestly couldn't see how it could get better. This part of me weighed heavily on the mind, it was something I wanted to bury and never fully admit. I couldn't see how anything would help that but I knew I needed to try something different compared to the first time. Over the last number of weeks (months even), I have tried my best to give myself the acceptance and love that I needed and craved, I have tried hard to be nicer to myself.  My mind has switched (maybe not fully but we are getting there) and instead of filling myself with the negatives, I'm trying to fill myself with the positives. Everyone is so quick to judge and give opinions to each other so why is it so common for us to be so judgemental on ourselves? How often do we tell ourselves we look fat or we look sick? How often do we wince when the fr

For so long I've felt like I needed to hide a part of me. There has been a side of me that I didn't want to show because I used to think it would make me weak. I feared how people would perceive me if they discovered this information. I was ashamed to admit it because then I was telling everyone I was weak but I wasn't, being this vulnerable has actually taken a lot of strength.  I know people's opinions of me will change or be altered after they read this but I want to say that the Bec who began writing this is the same Bec who ends it, you've just found out new information about me.  For years I've felt like I've had to hide, keep a part of me buried and honestly it's been exhausting and I no longer want to do that.  I am Bec. I am 24. I have two sisters. I've been with my favourite human for 5 years.  I have a dog. I used to engage in self-harming behaviour to cope. I used to binge eat and then purge. I still sometimes restrict my food but I am ov

As the world is slowly returning to a new normal, many people are waiting to hear about when we can jump on a plane and lie on a beach with a strawberry daiquiri. We use to travel for escapism, a way to leave our worries behind and get a break from the stresses of everyday life, it's why we all love our holidays and count them down. Now more than ever, we want to escape and get some of that normality but will travel be the stress-free life that we knew before COVID-19? I personally don't think so, everything we are experiencing in our home country, the dream locations for holidays are also experiencing it. Planes will be different, hotels, beaches, restaurants, nightlife and day excursions from cities will all be very different for the foreseeable future.  As we return to our new normal, travel outside of my country has not been an option in my mind and I personally can't envision myself travelling (unless in cases of emergency) until mid to late 2021 at the earliest. When

I have anxiety, and for so long I didn't even realise that is what it was. I had felt like this for as long as I could remember, I assumed everyone felt like this. I assumed it was normal to always feel like this, but thankfully through receiving help and having the right support in place I am beginning to learn it doesn't have to feel like this all the time.  This blog post is dedicated to everything anxiety makes me feel. If you resonate with some of these please consider going to speak to your GP and seek support.  Anxiety for me is: Sweating excessively( hot, cold, it don't matter) Shaking uncontrollable Increased heart rate and chest pains and breathing heavily Stomach pains  Undereating or overeating, it's usually one extreme or the other It's feeling uneasy/anxious/ sick because I have to go somewhere new or busy.  It's waiting to sit in corners or behind people so I won't be 'exposed' People are laughing and talking and I excessively think th