Why I'm here
"That's not Bec" the voice inside of me screamed, and I retreated back, talked myself back down, "that's not the Bec everyone knows and wants", so I ignore the real Bec in fear of being judged, perplexed by the constant feeling that anything I say or do is the wrong thing. The constant desire to please everyone, the need to make sure that everyone is happy and I have not said anything or done anything to upset anyone before my day can end is excruciatingly painful, but no one wants to see that Bec, so I listen to the "That's not Bec " voice and I put on my mask and pretend everything is fine. I do things that drain me, I'm exhausted and unhappy? But is that not life? Is it not supposed to be like this? I've had a wake-up call, it shouldn't always feel this dark, and my "happy" should be more than okay, how did I get to the point that okay meant happy for me? Someone recently asked me to think of my...